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Sincerely,
His-Stor-E
Monday, October 8, 2012
Saturday, August 27, 2011
To Thy Ownself Be True
PREFACE: I have reached a point in my life where I fear adults who don't consider themselves to be the most important adult in their lives. To parents, grandparents and guardians of children as well as children of an ill/disabled parent...I exempt you from this. To the religious and spiritual, of all flavors, I exempt you from this IF AND ONLY IF you consider God or your deity to be most important. To all other adults...if you seriously and truly put the happiness, welfare, and interests of another adult, unconditionally, above your own or your happiness together (if there is a relationship involved)...I fear you.
NOTE: I will ask that everyone re-read the above paragraph because there are a lot of areas here that could be misconstrued. I definitely do not support or condone self-interest above all else. The world is made better by people having relationships, communities, families and responsibilities to one another.
Now, let me start by saying that I believe a person who does not value themselves above others is capable of doing just about anything. They can lie, cheat, steal, ruin and kill themselves. It's true any person could do the same out of self-interest as well. Still, there is one critical difference between a person of self-interest and a subservient person...a person of self-interest ALWAYS has the most important person in their life with them. They will never be separated or broken apart from the person that they have endowed with all the importance of their life. Not even death can separate the two (if you believe in an afterlife). A subservient person has placed all the importance of their life on the bidding of another person. There are any number of ways to sever the relationship or access to that person. When that relationship, that access is severed...that subservient person becomes very dangerous. Not only are they left with themselves, whom they don't view as #1 (who cares what I do to myself, let alone anyone else) now they are either working to get back into the good graces of the one that left them (if they are still alive...think of the astronaut-diaper lady) or they are left to search for someone else to become their #1 (the methods used here are too numerous to even give a good example).
Having any form of relationship (platonic or otherwise) with someone who doesn't consider him/herself to be #1 can be extreme.
If you are the person they consider #1, then you have an incredible amount of power over them. You can do any number of things to them, to their life, to the people in their life and they will find a way to ignore or excuse it. You can misuse, abuse and defile them, your relationship or both and that too will go ignored or excused. Where you will have an issue is trying to leave them. No person is more likely to snap than someone who has given you everything. No person is more likely to cut your dick off, cut your break line, stab you in your sleep, stalk you, kill you than this person.
If you are not the person they consider to be #1, then ultimately your caring, sharing, beliefs, opinions, values, rules of personal conduct, rules of friendship, family mores, marriage vows, laws, and divine mandates mean nothing to them. Whatever the basis for your relationship (that you hold on to) is a string that is easily cut if you should attempt to come between them and their #1. This person is less likely to be violent with you, but far more likely to use subtle means to keep whatever you are providing. In any case, they are just as likely to disregard your relationship as keep it because anything you provide them doesn't and will never match their #1.
I have known far too many people in my life who tell a never-ending string of lies to themselves (and consequently to others). I have spent so long knowing, befriending, and in the past, dating people like this that I've given up on trying to relate, deal with, or fix it. A person who is either unwilling or incapable of seeing themselves as more important (baring children, the ill parent/child, or the divine) can only fix themselves if and when they decide they want to badly enough.
MARRIAGE: There will be some who would bring up marriage as an instance where there should be an exemption. A person's husband or wife should be more important to them than themselves. I couldn't disagree more. Any relationship where you chose to get into it and could, if so inclined, choose to get out of it is not a situation where you should make this person everything. Why? Because if you lose that relationship, by any means, then you are left with nothing. You made the determination that you weren't #1 and it becomes extraordinarily hard to get that back, if you ever had it in the first place.
A marriage, at least in most Western cultures, is a voluntary union of two individuals who choose to make the other person important to them. They choose to take care of the other person, take care of themselves, pay the bills, hold a job, pay compliments, have sex, clean the house, take out the trash, be honest, spend time together, and all the other wonderful things that come with a good and healthy relationship. That relationship is a bond of choices...you choose to make it important or you choose not to. The other person chooses to make you important to them or they choose not to. "Til' death do us part" is not the end-all-be-all. "Til' I choose not to" is. If anything, that is why I love marriage and hold it in such high esteem. I celebrate people who have been married for long periods of time because through all the things they've been through individually and together they have continued to choose each other. Through most moments, days, months, years, decades they have made the choice that their spouse was important. As the current divorce rates will tell you, they don't have to make that choice.
MY MARRIAGE:
My wife doesn't have to make that choice with me, but she has and she does and it is one of the many reasons I love her. I don't have to make that choice with her, but I have and I do because it is IMPORTANT TO ME. I love my wife but it doesn't mean that I have to or unconditionally will be with my wife forever or she with me. If I was a danger to her, our children or both she would leave me and it is a comfort to know that she would...I wouldn't deserve her or them. The opposite is also true. We both share a love for our children that would (for purposes of their or our own protection) surpass our love and relationship. In short, if my wife were a danger to me (self-interest) or my children (also self-interest but holds a higher place than caring for myself) then the choice would change because of something MORE IMPORTANT.
My children are unconditionally more important than me. It has caused me to grow in ways I didn't think possible and gave me a greater appreciation of what my mother did for me. My wife is more important than me in many ways and I readily make that choice. I am learning to make that choice more consistently, which is just a part of me and our relationship maturing. My God is more important than me and I am learning to make that choice more consistently as well. There are many things I will choose to put above myself, but I will always reserve that choice as my own.
NOTE: I will ask that everyone re-read the above paragraph because there are a lot of areas here that could be misconstrued. I definitely do not support or condone self-interest above all else. The world is made better by people having relationships, communities, families and responsibilities to one another.
Now, let me start by saying that I believe a person who does not value themselves above others is capable of doing just about anything. They can lie, cheat, steal, ruin and kill themselves. It's true any person could do the same out of self-interest as well. Still, there is one critical difference between a person of self-interest and a subservient person...a person of self-interest ALWAYS has the most important person in their life with them. They will never be separated or broken apart from the person that they have endowed with all the importance of their life. Not even death can separate the two (if you believe in an afterlife). A subservient person has placed all the importance of their life on the bidding of another person. There are any number of ways to sever the relationship or access to that person. When that relationship, that access is severed...that subservient person becomes very dangerous. Not only are they left with themselves, whom they don't view as #1 (who cares what I do to myself, let alone anyone else) now they are either working to get back into the good graces of the one that left them (if they are still alive...think of the astronaut-diaper lady) or they are left to search for someone else to become their #1 (the methods used here are too numerous to even give a good example).
Having any form of relationship (platonic or otherwise) with someone who doesn't consider him/herself to be #1 can be extreme.
If you are the person they consider #1, then you have an incredible amount of power over them. You can do any number of things to them, to their life, to the people in their life and they will find a way to ignore or excuse it. You can misuse, abuse and defile them, your relationship or both and that too will go ignored or excused. Where you will have an issue is trying to leave them. No person is more likely to snap than someone who has given you everything. No person is more likely to cut your dick off, cut your break line, stab you in your sleep, stalk you, kill you than this person.
If you are not the person they consider to be #1, then ultimately your caring, sharing, beliefs, opinions, values, rules of personal conduct, rules of friendship, family mores, marriage vows, laws, and divine mandates mean nothing to them. Whatever the basis for your relationship (that you hold on to) is a string that is easily cut if you should attempt to come between them and their #1. This person is less likely to be violent with you, but far more likely to use subtle means to keep whatever you are providing. In any case, they are just as likely to disregard your relationship as keep it because anything you provide them doesn't and will never match their #1.
I have known far too many people in my life who tell a never-ending string of lies to themselves (and consequently to others). I have spent so long knowing, befriending, and in the past, dating people like this that I've given up on trying to relate, deal with, or fix it. A person who is either unwilling or incapable of seeing themselves as more important (baring children, the ill parent/child, or the divine) can only fix themselves if and when they decide they want to badly enough.
MARRIAGE: There will be some who would bring up marriage as an instance where there should be an exemption. A person's husband or wife should be more important to them than themselves. I couldn't disagree more. Any relationship where you chose to get into it and could, if so inclined, choose to get out of it is not a situation where you should make this person everything. Why? Because if you lose that relationship, by any means, then you are left with nothing. You made the determination that you weren't #1 and it becomes extraordinarily hard to get that back, if you ever had it in the first place.
A marriage, at least in most Western cultures, is a voluntary union of two individuals who choose to make the other person important to them. They choose to take care of the other person, take care of themselves, pay the bills, hold a job, pay compliments, have sex, clean the house, take out the trash, be honest, spend time together, and all the other wonderful things that come with a good and healthy relationship. That relationship is a bond of choices...you choose to make it important or you choose not to. The other person chooses to make you important to them or they choose not to. "Til' death do us part" is not the end-all-be-all. "Til' I choose not to" is. If anything, that is why I love marriage and hold it in such high esteem. I celebrate people who have been married for long periods of time because through all the things they've been through individually and together they have continued to choose each other. Through most moments, days, months, years, decades they have made the choice that their spouse was important. As the current divorce rates will tell you, they don't have to make that choice.
MY MARRIAGE:
My wife doesn't have to make that choice with me, but she has and she does and it is one of the many reasons I love her. I don't have to make that choice with her, but I have and I do because it is IMPORTANT TO ME. I love my wife but it doesn't mean that I have to or unconditionally will be with my wife forever or she with me. If I was a danger to her, our children or both she would leave me and it is a comfort to know that she would...I wouldn't deserve her or them. The opposite is also true. We both share a love for our children that would (for purposes of their or our own protection) surpass our love and relationship. In short, if my wife were a danger to me (self-interest) or my children (also self-interest but holds a higher place than caring for myself) then the choice would change because of something MORE IMPORTANT.
My children are unconditionally more important than me. It has caused me to grow in ways I didn't think possible and gave me a greater appreciation of what my mother did for me. My wife is more important than me in many ways and I readily make that choice. I am learning to make that choice more consistently, which is just a part of me and our relationship maturing. My God is more important than me and I am learning to make that choice more consistently as well. There are many things I will choose to put above myself, but I will always reserve that choice as my own.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Perfectly Imperfect
To work toward
To strive
To thrive
is to put a goal in mind
a goal of being better
a goal of growing
growing in knowledge
growing in ability
growing as a person
I have that goal
I try to work toward that goal every day
I'm not always on point
I'm not always moving ahead
Some days I move backward
Some days I stay still
and recoup the energy it took to make it this far
I have things in my life that help me recoup
revitalize
re-energize my mind, body and spirit
these things have helped me heal, forgive, and move beyond
those things
foreign and domestic
that have held me back, kept me down, or sapped my strength
Several of those things have lost potency
Several of those things have gone by the wayside
Several of those things I can't do anymore
and still more just don't work at all
There are a precious few left that still have the power to
clear my mind
cleanse my spirit
and power my body
Precious few
Those things aren't happening much these days
There are events, situations and contexts that make those things
difficult
if not impossible
One such measure was taken to excess
to dangerous levels
of expense
of toxicity
of dependence
It no longer was a release valve
It became a pressure builder
So I made a decision to stop
and I did for a time
not nearly as long as I set out to
but I did stop for a time
I came across a flash boil point and
fell back into a newly-minted and non-productive
habit
A habit I'm trying to break
It's not that I want to stop this thing altogether
but I want to break myself of the habit of abusing this thing
out of a perceived dependence on it
Realizing my error, I told my beloved
She is very disappointed and more than a little fearful of
what it might mean
To me, it means I made a mistake
I am willing to own up to my mistake
I am going to continue toward my goals
and hopefully not make that mistake again
I won't say never
I don't make promises that I'm not certain I can keep
and there lies the problem
I'm not certain I can keep this one
My uncertainty is seen as weakness
it is viewed as a character flaw
it is "an indication" of things to come
where I may succumb to my weakness
in matters far more important to me
I can not say that is invalid
but I can not say that this is new either
it is me
I don't hit home runs on the first pitch
I don't say things perfectly the first time
I don't do much of anything perfectly or consistently
when I first try them
but that is not a problem
to me
because I have the determination
to keep trying
to keep going
to start again where others who claim defeat
I am not defeated until I accept defeat
which I never do
I just try again until I'm better
and keep trying until I'm better still
and bit by bit I get to my goals.
There hasn't been one yet that I haven't reached
or am on my way to reaching.
My start was certainly imperfect
but I'll keep trying until I get where I want to be
and in that effort
and in that goal
I will be perfect
To strive
To thrive
is to put a goal in mind
a goal of being better
a goal of growing
growing in knowledge
growing in ability
growing as a person
I have that goal
I try to work toward that goal every day
I'm not always on point
I'm not always moving ahead
Some days I move backward
Some days I stay still
and recoup the energy it took to make it this far
I have things in my life that help me recoup
revitalize
re-energize my mind, body and spirit
these things have helped me heal, forgive, and move beyond
those things
foreign and domestic
that have held me back, kept me down, or sapped my strength
Several of those things have lost potency
Several of those things have gone by the wayside
Several of those things I can't do anymore
and still more just don't work at all
There are a precious few left that still have the power to
clear my mind
cleanse my spirit
and power my body
Precious few
Those things aren't happening much these days
There are events, situations and contexts that make those things
difficult
if not impossible
One such measure was taken to excess
to dangerous levels
of expense
of toxicity
of dependence
It no longer was a release valve
It became a pressure builder
So I made a decision to stop
and I did for a time
not nearly as long as I set out to
but I did stop for a time
I came across a flash boil point and
fell back into a newly-minted and non-productive
habit
A habit I'm trying to break
It's not that I want to stop this thing altogether
but I want to break myself of the habit of abusing this thing
out of a perceived dependence on it
Realizing my error, I told my beloved
She is very disappointed and more than a little fearful of
what it might mean
To me, it means I made a mistake
I am willing to own up to my mistake
I am going to continue toward my goals
and hopefully not make that mistake again
I won't say never
I don't make promises that I'm not certain I can keep
and there lies the problem
I'm not certain I can keep this one
My uncertainty is seen as weakness
it is viewed as a character flaw
it is "an indication" of things to come
where I may succumb to my weakness
in matters far more important to me
I can not say that is invalid
but I can not say that this is new either
it is me
I don't hit home runs on the first pitch
I don't say things perfectly the first time
I don't do much of anything perfectly or consistently
when I first try them
but that is not a problem
to me
because I have the determination
to keep trying
to keep going
to start again where others who claim defeat
I am not defeated until I accept defeat
which I never do
I just try again until I'm better
and keep trying until I'm better still
and bit by bit I get to my goals.
There hasn't been one yet that I haven't reached
or am on my way to reaching.
My start was certainly imperfect
but I'll keep trying until I get where I want to be
and in that effort
and in that goal
I will be perfect
Information hidden in an open book
(This post was originally written on February 21st, 2011)
There is an old saying: If you want to keep something from the (insert ANY disenfranchised, downtrodden group here), put it in a book.
The premise behind it is that the groups that are unsuccessful are unwilling or unable to read. Throughout most of history, that premise has proven more true than many are ready to accept. Throughout most cultures the educated make up the aristocracy because they know more about the system/government, they know more about business, they know more about money, and they know more about people.
That last part, knowing more about people, was the sole reason I am interested in psychology. It is also a big part of the reason that, while I'm not the most amicable employee I am one of the quickest to get ahead. It's a reason why I get along well with so many different types of people and it's something I pride myself in. It can also be one of the things that makes me the maddest when people I care about don't use.
For the most part, people don't look into knowing or finding out more about other people because they assume they already know. A woman is crying because she is sad. A man is angry because he lost his job. A child throws temper tantrums because they want attention. These are things that many of us were raised/taught to believe and many times they are true. The problem is that they are not always true and we are overlooking something significant in those times when our initial belief/assumption is wrong.
That is a very close approximation of where I find myself now. Over the past two months I have started a college course, found a new job, quit my current job, and done a dangerous amount of drinking. I admit it, I have done stupid things recently and I can see how they would be scary to anyone who really cares about me. The problem, my actions. The solution, who knows? But the solution a person comes up with will have a great deal to do with what they attribute the problem to. If they internalize it and come to believe that they are a part of the problem, they'll change themselves. If they believe something external then they might try to alleviate the effect of that thing. But if it is something far larger and far more insidious, then they're faced with the possibility that there is nothing they can do. That is a scary and sad state of affairs. Sad because it may be misinformed. Scary because it leaves the person with two options...fight against an enemy they can't see/reach or abandon trying to help in favor of self-preservation.
In this case, someone I care about very deeply has seen all the actions that I refer to above and decided that the problem is Alcoholism. Given my history of drinking, I'm not decided not to disagree with that assessment but I was before and am now a person who drinks too much. I freely admit that much. That said, my drug of choice is people...always has been. I am a very social person and I quickly go insane when my social outlets and social interactions are cut off. If there are Socialite Anonymous meetings, point me in the right direction.
What happened in those moments that I refer to is not the manifestation or progression of Alcoholism. Then as now, I don't drink heavily at home or by myself. Then as now, I don't dream about or think about drinking. Then as now, I don't become a different person when I drink. Anyone who has seen me sober, in a good mood, in public knows that I'm every bit as outgoing, loud, and occasionally obnoxious then as I am when drinking. Anyone who regularly watches sports with me can attest to that.
What happened in those moments was the culmination of a lasting depression. It is a depression based on a large number of changes in my life...some of them I love and wouldn't change for the world...others I would never had asked for and would like nothing more than to go back to the way things were, or something close to it. These changes started gradually and then hit all at once when my children were born. It happened, I'm dealing with it, and it is getting better.
What seriously concerns me is the blind eye that is turned to what actually is happening in favor of a simpler, easier to swallow explanation...with far more dire circumstances. What seriously concerns me is the belief that this assumption is sufficient to explain a lot of non-drinking related behavior. Do I drink all the time? Am I supposed to be suffering withdrawal pangs? No and no. I am, nonetheless, missing my real addiction...social interaction. I miss it terribly. I don't get an outlet at work because, well, I'm not a terribly PC person and my conversations would lead to trouble if I tried having them at work. I've got enough personal experience with this to know it true.
I'm sure there's more to say on this topic but at the moment I'm tired and drawing a blank.
To be continued...
There is an old saying: If you want to keep something from the (insert ANY disenfranchised, downtrodden group here), put it in a book.
The premise behind it is that the groups that are unsuccessful are unwilling or unable to read. Throughout most of history, that premise has proven more true than many are ready to accept. Throughout most cultures the educated make up the aristocracy because they know more about the system/government, they know more about business, they know more about money, and they know more about people.
That last part, knowing more about people, was the sole reason I am interested in psychology. It is also a big part of the reason that, while I'm not the most amicable employee I am one of the quickest to get ahead. It's a reason why I get along well with so many different types of people and it's something I pride myself in. It can also be one of the things that makes me the maddest when people I care about don't use.
For the most part, people don't look into knowing or finding out more about other people because they assume they already know. A woman is crying because she is sad. A man is angry because he lost his job. A child throws temper tantrums because they want attention. These are things that many of us were raised/taught to believe and many times they are true. The problem is that they are not always true and we are overlooking something significant in those times when our initial belief/assumption is wrong.
That is a very close approximation of where I find myself now. Over the past two months I have started a college course, found a new job, quit my current job, and done a dangerous amount of drinking. I admit it, I have done stupid things recently and I can see how they would be scary to anyone who really cares about me. The problem, my actions. The solution, who knows? But the solution a person comes up with will have a great deal to do with what they attribute the problem to. If they internalize it and come to believe that they are a part of the problem, they'll change themselves. If they believe something external then they might try to alleviate the effect of that thing. But if it is something far larger and far more insidious, then they're faced with the possibility that there is nothing they can do. That is a scary and sad state of affairs. Sad because it may be misinformed. Scary because it leaves the person with two options...fight against an enemy they can't see/reach or abandon trying to help in favor of self-preservation.
In this case, someone I care about very deeply has seen all the actions that I refer to above and decided that the problem is Alcoholism. Given my history of drinking, I'm not decided not to disagree with that assessment but I was before and am now a person who drinks too much. I freely admit that much. That said, my drug of choice is people...always has been. I am a very social person and I quickly go insane when my social outlets and social interactions are cut off. If there are Socialite Anonymous meetings, point me in the right direction.
What happened in those moments that I refer to is not the manifestation or progression of Alcoholism. Then as now, I don't drink heavily at home or by myself. Then as now, I don't dream about or think about drinking. Then as now, I don't become a different person when I drink. Anyone who has seen me sober, in a good mood, in public knows that I'm every bit as outgoing, loud, and occasionally obnoxious then as I am when drinking. Anyone who regularly watches sports with me can attest to that.
What happened in those moments was the culmination of a lasting depression. It is a depression based on a large number of changes in my life...some of them I love and wouldn't change for the world...others I would never had asked for and would like nothing more than to go back to the way things were, or something close to it. These changes started gradually and then hit all at once when my children were born. It happened, I'm dealing with it, and it is getting better.
What seriously concerns me is the blind eye that is turned to what actually is happening in favor of a simpler, easier to swallow explanation...with far more dire circumstances. What seriously concerns me is the belief that this assumption is sufficient to explain a lot of non-drinking related behavior. Do I drink all the time? Am I supposed to be suffering withdrawal pangs? No and no. I am, nonetheless, missing my real addiction...social interaction. I miss it terribly. I don't get an outlet at work because, well, I'm not a terribly PC person and my conversations would lead to trouble if I tried having them at work. I've got enough personal experience with this to know it true.
I'm sure there's more to say on this topic but at the moment I'm tired and drawing a blank.
To be continued...
Thursday, February 24, 2011
WRAL News Blog: Charter School Reform: Fightin' words (My Response)
Please read the story at the link provided before reading the rest of this.
http://www.wral.com/news/state/nccapitol/blogpost/9164163/
It is moments like this that really make me mad at what has happened to America. Essentially the NC Senate was discussing a bill to provide for more charter schools across North Carolina. This is an idea that I whole-heartedly support. I believe most people in this state and around the country support it. Those that don't support it generally do so for one of a few reasons:
1. Charter schools and Magnet schools draw from the same talent pool as regular public schools (usually drawing the best available)
2. Some charter and magnet schools, particularly in the first years of implementation, do poor jobs of tailoring their records/curriculum to typical college acceptance procedures
3. Charter and Magnet schools, as they don't have as wide a variety of students, don't have the overhead (variety of extracurriculars, physical education, athletics, special needs, summer school, transportation, low-income support services) that regular public schools have
4. Charter schools pull money from the same education fund as regular schools, thereby taking from the available funding proportionately but holding a disproportionate burden.
It is a combination of these last two reasons that NC Senator Gladys Robinson (D-Guilford) is upset with the expansion of charter schools in North Carolina. I can understand her concerns, which likely stem from a number of public schools in her county that are losing funding for needed programs to schools which serve smaller populations. What I do not understand and cannot stomach are the underpinnings of her concern. In many ways they are the underpinnings of entitlement and liberalism, but in others it is just a dependent mentality.
Her response was:
"I’m saddened by the fact that I don’t think we really care about education for everybody, but we care about education for those of us who can make sure our kids get it. And about the others, who will end up in poor public schools, that will have to share their funds since we’re not giving any extra money, then we don’t care about those children, wherever they end up on the streets or wherever. It does not appear – regardless of what you’re saying, I don’t think you care."
What this statement says to me is that there are parents who believe it is the government's responsibility to provide subsidy AND access to the best in education.
The subsidy is believed to be necessary because it goes along with a belief that there are people who can not make a better life for themselves. There are too many people trying to get into this country (by plane, by boat, by inner tube, by stowing themselves into the trunks of cars) that come here because they hold the exact opposite belief. This country is still rated in the top 5% of countries that are easiest to do business. There are more distinct industries in this country than in any other. There are more top-notch education opportunities here than in the next 10 countries combined. Providing the opportunity to make a better life for one's self is what we do. In this country we have moved South, then West, then back East, then North, then back South to go where the opportunities are. As a nation we pioneer and trailblaze and innovate. Now, we whine and complain that someone isn't giving us what other people have earned. Forget subsidizing poverty, if you want to do better for yourself and for your kids...go and get it!
Next is the access. This is both a local and a national issue. The belief that an overall "better performing" school is better for any child is ludicrous. There are Rhodes Scholars that come from "poor performing" schools. There are high school and college drop outs, not to mention deadbeats, that come from the best schools in the world. The things that matter the most in whether or not a child succeeds in school have always been the same...child's effort, family/community influence, and resources. This argument suggest that resources are unequal. The argument isn't really an argument as much as it is a statement of fact. The issue is that the people who make this argument are looking at neither global competition nor history.
As a country, there are more resources for children and education now than there have ever been in the history of the world. There are public libraries with computers with internet for FREE. There are educational television shows on broadcast television for FREE. There are tutoring services available in most parts of the country that will offer extra help and teaching to any child that will show up. There are church and civic organizations that put together educational, social, artistic and athletic activities for the whole family the whole year long. As a family living in America, whether or not you are a citizen, there are resources here that people around the globe would swim an ocean for. Oh, and many of those families live on so much less than we do. Many of those families don't have access to educational resources outside of school. Many of those children go to schools that are insufficiently funded. Many of those children go hungry, dirty, and work jobs. Oh, and many of those children are KICKING OUR ASSES in educational attainment. We aren't failing to achieve because we have insufficient resources. We are failing to achieve because we have too many resources. We have become fat, dumb and lazy. The very last thing that we need is to extend more entitlements and subsidies to people who don't want to do what is needed to get ahead. We're so busy trying to fix the weakest links that we are weakening the whole chain.
http://www.wral.com/news/state/nccapitol/blogpost/9164163/
It is moments like this that really make me mad at what has happened to America. Essentially the NC Senate was discussing a bill to provide for more charter schools across North Carolina. This is an idea that I whole-heartedly support. I believe most people in this state and around the country support it. Those that don't support it generally do so for one of a few reasons:
1. Charter schools and Magnet schools draw from the same talent pool as regular public schools (usually drawing the best available)
2. Some charter and magnet schools, particularly in the first years of implementation, do poor jobs of tailoring their records/curriculum to typical college acceptance procedures
3. Charter and Magnet schools, as they don't have as wide a variety of students, don't have the overhead (variety of extracurriculars, physical education, athletics, special needs, summer school, transportation, low-income support services) that regular public schools have
4. Charter schools pull money from the same education fund as regular schools, thereby taking from the available funding proportionately but holding a disproportionate burden.
It is a combination of these last two reasons that NC Senator Gladys Robinson (D-Guilford) is upset with the expansion of charter schools in North Carolina. I can understand her concerns, which likely stem from a number of public schools in her county that are losing funding for needed programs to schools which serve smaller populations. What I do not understand and cannot stomach are the underpinnings of her concern. In many ways they are the underpinnings of entitlement and liberalism, but in others it is just a dependent mentality.
Her response was:
"I’m saddened by the fact that I don’t think we really care about education for everybody, but we care about education for those of us who can make sure our kids get it. And about the others, who will end up in poor public schools, that will have to share their funds since we’re not giving any extra money, then we don’t care about those children, wherever they end up on the streets or wherever. It does not appear – regardless of what you’re saying, I don’t think you care."
What this statement says to me is that there are parents who believe it is the government's responsibility to provide subsidy AND access to the best in education.
The subsidy is believed to be necessary because it goes along with a belief that there are people who can not make a better life for themselves. There are too many people trying to get into this country (by plane, by boat, by inner tube, by stowing themselves into the trunks of cars) that come here because they hold the exact opposite belief. This country is still rated in the top 5% of countries that are easiest to do business. There are more distinct industries in this country than in any other. There are more top-notch education opportunities here than in the next 10 countries combined. Providing the opportunity to make a better life for one's self is what we do. In this country we have moved South, then West, then back East, then North, then back South to go where the opportunities are. As a nation we pioneer and trailblaze and innovate. Now, we whine and complain that someone isn't giving us what other people have earned. Forget subsidizing poverty, if you want to do better for yourself and for your kids...go and get it!
Next is the access. This is both a local and a national issue. The belief that an overall "better performing" school is better for any child is ludicrous. There are Rhodes Scholars that come from "poor performing" schools. There are high school and college drop outs, not to mention deadbeats, that come from the best schools in the world. The things that matter the most in whether or not a child succeeds in school have always been the same...child's effort, family/community influence, and resources. This argument suggest that resources are unequal. The argument isn't really an argument as much as it is a statement of fact. The issue is that the people who make this argument are looking at neither global competition nor history.
As a country, there are more resources for children and education now than there have ever been in the history of the world. There are public libraries with computers with internet for FREE. There are educational television shows on broadcast television for FREE. There are tutoring services available in most parts of the country that will offer extra help and teaching to any child that will show up. There are church and civic organizations that put together educational, social, artistic and athletic activities for the whole family the whole year long. As a family living in America, whether or not you are a citizen, there are resources here that people around the globe would swim an ocean for. Oh, and many of those families live on so much less than we do. Many of those families don't have access to educational resources outside of school. Many of those children go to schools that are insufficiently funded. Many of those children go hungry, dirty, and work jobs. Oh, and many of those children are KICKING OUR ASSES in educational attainment. We aren't failing to achieve because we have insufficient resources. We are failing to achieve because we have too many resources. We have become fat, dumb and lazy. The very last thing that we need is to extend more entitlements and subsidies to people who don't want to do what is needed to get ahead. We're so busy trying to fix the weakest links that we are weakening the whole chain.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Intelligent people being led by dumb people
When, in the course of human history, have so many intelligent people (aware, conscientious, learned, and analytical) been led by the opinions of dumb people who write laser-focused propaganda about events, causes and people based on speculation, interpretation, and often times personal projections of dislike or hatred. When have people so readily given their opinions and conviction to the whim of celebrities? When have sane and sober individuals become crazy and drunk with the hatreds and passions of others? When have people with no physical, political or military power been so able to commandeer the hearts and minds of so many?
When? Whenever people have more fear than hope. Whenever the dramas of the day can be blames on the scapegoats of tomorrow. Whenever people refuse to accept responsibility for their lot in life and when people want someone else to take care of it for them. We now have an entire industry built solely on the premise that it is important for us to tell you what to think and feel. Glenn Beck, Jon Stewart, Bill O'Reilly, Keith Olbermann, Jim Cramer, Oprah Winfrey, Dr. Phil, Dr. Laura, Bill Maher, Rush Limbaugh and a whole slew of other people are in the business of telling you, either explicitly or implicitly what you should think, feel and do. The sad part about that is none of these people have the lives that we want.
Most of them are single and have always had relationship problems, their finances (though much higher than the rest of us) regularly get them into trouble, their predictions often never come to pass, and they live personal lives isolated from real friendship/companionship because their professional lives dominate them. Most of them would never be elected to any political office if they ran. Most of them aren't people you would leave your children with if you knew more about them personally. Still, they speak and whether you agree or disagree, you listen. You listen and you debate and you argue and you wish all manner of good/harm on them...for what? Having an opinion?
I don't blame these people. Hell, if I could make millions of dollars just by sharing my opinions and beliefs on TV I'd start tomorrow. There are plenty of people who have opinions and beliefs that I think are retarded, untenable, or abhorrent...but that's the beauty of being here, in this country. Their opinion is just that and it can do NOTHING to me, unless I allow it to. We have reached a point where the citizens of this country are collectively smarter than we've ever been...and yet we're allowing the opinions of everyone from Mel Gibson to Arianna Huffington dominate what we pay attention to. When have so many been duped by so few? When the person was a leader, not a commentator. When the content of their speech was about what to do, not who to blame. When words drove progress and mobilized mending.
This is nothing but destruction by way of multimedia brainwashing.
When? Whenever people have more fear than hope. Whenever the dramas of the day can be blames on the scapegoats of tomorrow. Whenever people refuse to accept responsibility for their lot in life and when people want someone else to take care of it for them. We now have an entire industry built solely on the premise that it is important for us to tell you what to think and feel. Glenn Beck, Jon Stewart, Bill O'Reilly, Keith Olbermann, Jim Cramer, Oprah Winfrey, Dr. Phil, Dr. Laura, Bill Maher, Rush Limbaugh and a whole slew of other people are in the business of telling you, either explicitly or implicitly what you should think, feel and do. The sad part about that is none of these people have the lives that we want.
Most of them are single and have always had relationship problems, their finances (though much higher than the rest of us) regularly get them into trouble, their predictions often never come to pass, and they live personal lives isolated from real friendship/companionship because their professional lives dominate them. Most of them would never be elected to any political office if they ran. Most of them aren't people you would leave your children with if you knew more about them personally. Still, they speak and whether you agree or disagree, you listen. You listen and you debate and you argue and you wish all manner of good/harm on them...for what? Having an opinion?
I don't blame these people. Hell, if I could make millions of dollars just by sharing my opinions and beliefs on TV I'd start tomorrow. There are plenty of people who have opinions and beliefs that I think are retarded, untenable, or abhorrent...but that's the beauty of being here, in this country. Their opinion is just that and it can do NOTHING to me, unless I allow it to. We have reached a point where the citizens of this country are collectively smarter than we've ever been...and yet we're allowing the opinions of everyone from Mel Gibson to Arianna Huffington dominate what we pay attention to. When have so many been duped by so few? When the person was a leader, not a commentator. When the content of their speech was about what to do, not who to blame. When words drove progress and mobilized mending.
This is nothing but destruction by way of multimedia brainwashing.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
How men fight...A woman's critique
CNN Article: 5 things I hate about how men fight
Men and Women, I would love to hear your thoughts on this article. Please feel free to chime in.
Men and Women, I would love to hear your thoughts on this article. Please feel free to chime in.
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