I Invented Pants!

Now don't get me wrong...I'm no Al Gore, but I invented pants. I also invented the internet, Health Maintenance Organizations, sudden death overtime, chili cheese fries, and hybrid-electric automobile engines.

What??? You don't believe me? You don't believe that I, in my infinite power, wisdom, purpose, and inventiveness could create these things that have changed our computing, healthcare, football, snacking, and driving (respectively)?

Ok, I admit it...maybe I didn't invent them. But I could have, I mean, I'm not the President or anything, but I have the ability to come up with these concepts. As such, the good and the bad of these things should rightly be attributed to me, right? I should be praised for the wonders of eBay, semi-annual checkups, the Tuck rule, higher cholesterol, and those uppity tree-hugging Prius drivers...right?

OK, I admit it...coming up with these ideas, or even knowing they are possible doesn't exactly lay the praise or blame at my feet. After all, I'm not the President, right? There are other people who were responsible for inventing those things, cultivating those things, manufacturing those things, and making them come to life, right?

I mean really, the Internet was invented through military and NASA technology in the late 70's (I mean, I was a smart baby, but dayum). Health Maintenance Organizations were developed by healthcare conglomerates and insurance companies to package healthcare in a manner that yielded higher insurance returns. Sudden death overtime was brought in by the NFL to eliminate tie games that screwed up their playoff system. Chili-cheese fries were probably invented by the owner of a dive restaurant or bar and taste so damned good that now everyone serves them. And hybrid-electric engines...well, they started in jet design but were adapted to automobile engines by Toyota.

Now this sounds an awful lot like some things that are being tossed around as the fault of the currrent White House, though they were invented by someone else, carried out by someone else, or neglected by someone else and never were their responsibility. For all their fuck-ups, and there are many, the President and Vice-President aren't even in the top 10 when the blame comes up for American jobs being outsourced, 9-11, failures in New Orleans in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, the decline in manufacturing/agricultural

jobs, or the mortgage crisis. With the exception of Katrina, most of these things were started (by action or inaction) of federal government agencies, or foreign policy dating back 10-30 years. If anything, this should teach us one thing. We're better served with a smaller government who lets us tend to our own needs than a bigger one that can fuck us over lose an election and escape judgment.

There is plenty that this Presidential administration is responsible for royally fucking up...leading an ineffective war in Iraq for six years, allowing the cost of gas, higher education, and healthcare to skyrocket beyond what Americans can afford, and a "No Child Left Behind" policy that undermined the ability of schools to educate. They should answer for that, but they won't. They should have been impeached, but they weren't. A swift boot in the ass for every soldier who's passed and a shot in the arm for every cent that gas has gone up in the last eight years sounds about fair, but we're not going to get that either. We're just going to get a new figurehead who has no more power to solve the world's problems in a four-year term than the last four had. If your fear is that one, or a few people, abuse power...give them less power.

Also, remember that 3 of the 4 people trying to get to the White House were in Congress while the forces that have made these eight years horrible grew! Obama or McCain will make very little difference. Limit the scope and responsibility of the federal government. Put the responsibility in the hands of people who are involved longer than two or four-year terms.