30 Things Men Wish Women Knew

This is a response post to an article that was posted in Men's Health magazine, written by their correspondent of "all things female", Lisa Jones. The original article is insightful, useful, and full of material that is certainly not obvious to men. As a result, I would like to write a counterpart to that article about things that men wish women knew. I'm going to include a section at the end that are particular to married men and their wives.

1. Taking your clothes off, or stripping, is one of the sexiest things you do. Please don't rush through it as though it were nothing. If we're in that much of a hurry, we'll claw your clothes off of you.

2. Hanging out with the fellas helps to recharge my batteries, detox my life and is necessary to keep me sane.

3. Sports are not an obsession. They are a connection to my youthful, most energetic, and probably most happy times in my life.

4. Running errands is not a problem and I'll do my best with the details. If you want the Diet, Decaf, Mocha, Whole-Wheat, Low-Sodium, Low-Fat, Antioxidant, Organic, Gluten-Free, Ribbed for Her Pleasure, No Split-Ends, Flexi-Waist thingamabob that comes in the 16 oz. Sky Blue bottle with the Salon Pump, go get it yourself.

5. When I ask you "How was your day?", I’m not inviting you to tell me about everyone else's day, yesterday, tomorrow, and life history on the way to telling us about you...I can't process that much information at once.

6. When you ask me "How was your day?" and I say "It was OK", leave it at that.

7. Don't EVER go through my personal things (wallet, phone, email, voicemail, car) trying to find out what I've been doing or to catch me in a lie. Actions like that are quick to remind us of a nosy parent (usually mother) and it is one of the most unattractive things you can do.

8. Have more confidence in why we're together. I know you like hearing that you're attractive, sexy, smart, powerful...but if you ‘force’ me say it too many times, it becomes a lie.

9. You ALWAYS look better in a skirt.

10. I love it when you hang out with your girlfriends, please do it more often.

11. Don't dress lights-out sexy when you go out with your girlfriends if you won't dress that way for me...it shows that your priorities have gone somewhere else.

12. Feel free to dress lights-out sexy on almost every occasion when we're together...it is definitely appreciated.

13. All the things we used to do for fun before we got together (going to the bar, catching a game, fishing, video games, carpentry, etc.) are still fun. If you don't really like them anymore, find something else to do while I do them... See #10.

14. I don't want to go to Pottery Barn, Bed Bath & Beyond, the jewelry store, the beauty salon, the nail salon, or to see the Sex In The City movie...pretty much EVER.

15. I’m not your ex-boyfriend and the fact that we look alike, talk alike, sound alike, dress alike, drive a similar car, and/or socialize in similar circles STILL doesn’t make me him. If you’re not over him, get over him because I’m never going to be him.

16. Seeing you wearing one of my button-down shirts with a pair of heels on and nothing else is one of the sexiest things.

17. I am attracted to all the things you did to hook me when we first started dating. I would greatly appreciate it if you would continue those things.

18. Baggy clothes are fine for nights curled up on the couch, but they should not be a regular staple of your wardrobe...you've got a beautiful body in there (no matter how you feel), don't hide it.

19. Please close the bathroom door when you’re on the toilet…that’s never something I want to see.

20. I own 5 pairs of pants, 10 pairs of jeans, 10 pairs of shorts, 10 button down shirts, 45 t-shirts, and 5 pairs of shoes…please don’t ask me to critique whether this blouse goes with this skirt, shoes, earrings, lipstick, eyeliner, stockings, purse, and jacket…see #10.

Married Men to their Wives
21. If I'm not giving you enough sex, it's because:

• A) I'm temporarily not attracted to you
• B) I'm pissed at you, resulting in A
• C) You have made dramatic changes to something I liked, resulting in A
• D) My life is out of control and I don’t feel that I’m getting any support or help from you

22. A good steak dinner, some supportive comfort, a back rub and some “quality” time will smooth over most things.

23. Before you get it into your head to swap the greasy, fatty, starchy, salty, sugary food that I love for something low-fat, low-sodium, whole wheat, or organic STOP. I love that food the way I love you, just the way it is. You can suggest to me a change, but do not attempt to force it. See #21.

24. I sometimes look at my wedding band and ask myself, “How did I get myself into this?”

25. About 30 seconds later I’m thinking about you and smiling to myself.

26. Nakedness is like Ice Cream...when it is a once-in-a-while treat it is delicious and wonderful, when it is all the time with no occasion or fanfare, it loses its flavor.

27. The words “I’m ovulating” are absolutely the least sexy words that can come out of your mouth. I spent years dating and celebrating that my woman was not pregnant. Even if we’re trying to make a baby, keep the timing and details of that occasion to yourself.

28. If you feel as though you must change some aspect of yourself (hair, wardrobe, diet, job, piercings, tattoos) please bring it up to me and let me know that it’s important to you. I may not like it, but I can take it a whole lot better than if you surprise me with it.

29. Your memory is way too good to be selective. If you can remember what grocery store has a sale on corn, what song was playing when we first kissed, the birthdays of your family, my family and all of your girlfriends then I know you can remember to pull your hair out of the tub drain, don’t use my razors to shave your legs, and take the car to the mechanic.

30. I am imperfect, you correct my imperfections…that makes you perfect to me.

Living on Borrowed Time (Part 2 of 3)

PREFACE:
This topic is going to be offensive to some people. It presents life from a Darwinist view and portrays life as an investment and the living as resources, as opposed to the laughing and loving souls that we can be. This post will remove the romantic, the religious, and the superstitious notions about life and add in the bio-economy of politics, economics, and sociology.

BODY:
Job turnover, retirement planning, geriatric medicine, political policy, economic policy, advertising, driving laws, handicap-awareness, and a whole slew of other things greatly depend on how long people will live and what their condition will be in their later years. The larger the population living into seniority, particularly advanced seniority, the greater a societal shift is required to accommodate the population shift.

Take a look at all the stories about the Baby Boomer generation (those born at or soon after the end of World War II – 1946-1955). This generation has proven to be one of the most domestically-influential generations this country has ever seen. They played both parts in the Civil Rights movement, Women’s Rights movement, Gay Rights movement and were the majority of the leadership and fighting force through the Cold War. They watched the first lunar landing, they fought the Vietnam War (leading in and protesting against), and they revolutionized so many activities, industries, and sciences that life in this country will never again be like it was. They made life both simpler and more complex, but they made it change. They are about to make it change again.

This generation of Americans represents the largest and most prolific generation of seniors that this country has ever seen. As a result there are a lot of accommodations that are coming to fruition that haven’t existed previous. Retirement communities, assisted living, new geriatric medications, geriatric physicians and surgical/medical procedures for geriatric conditions are becoming full-fledged industries but not quick enough to match the need. Senior-specific tourism, senior-emphasized shopping venues and senior-influenced products come to fruition, but not quick enough to match the need. Adults find themselves looking after their young children and their aging parents for long periods of time. Retirement pensions don’t last as long as the person’s life. People are outliving their siblings, spouses, and their children. These people are very much alone in their later years, with no one left to take care of them…well, not really.

Historically, older people have been taken care of by their descendents, their friends and their community. Unfortunately, societal changes (many of which became the standard after the Baby Boomer generation) have made it so that people live apart from the bulk of their family far more often than they used to. In addition to the separation of family, people tend to move to different towns, cities, states and countries far more often than we used to, both as a country and as a human race. Lastly, the longer one lives the less likely they will have a full compliment, or even a reduced compliment of people that have known them a long while. So at the same time that a person’s life requires more relevant and familiar attention from others, there are fewer relevant and familiar people available.

This is where a combination of political changes and societal changes has turned a big impact into a huge one. First, let’s look at the political changes. In 1935, President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed into law the Social Security Act as a part of his “New Deal” program. This program was intended to be a social insurance tax program that would provide retirement benefits to working Americans. Along with the creation of Social Security, that act also created welfare. In Title 3 (Unemployment Compensation) and Title 4 (Aid to Families with Dependent Children - AFDC), the Social Security Act laid the foundation for the American welfare system. Though Social Security was considered a remarkable new step in social insurance, the provisions at that time were such that most women and minorities were excluded from unemployment insurance and old age pensions.

There were a couple of key pieces to how this legislation operates.
1. The payroll taxes were automatic and static (due to the newly created FICA), while the payouts were not.
2. Unemployment and AFDC taxes would never be refunded if not used.
3. The surplus was put into a trust that is made available to congress for other purposes.
4. The retirement age was set to 65.

In 1935, the average life expectancy of white males was 61 years. The writing of the age requirement was such that it bet against recipients living to or much past the age of 65. Given the folks (mostly white men) that would be taxed and never use the unemployment provisions in life and/or die before reaching the qualifying retirement age it would keep the coffers full. Provisions to include working women and minorities came through amendments in the 1950s.

Though Social Security was amended a number of times over the years to follow the most substantial change came when President Lyndon B. Johnson wrote the Social Security Act of 1965. This amendment was part of President Johnson’s “Great Society.”*

*Notice this evolves every time some president has a catch phrase change program…keep an eye out for the next one

In this new act Medicare and Medicaid were first introduced. Medicaid was created as a social health insurance plan for the exceptionally poor. Medicare was created as a social health insurance plan for the elderly (which was determined by the same qualifying age as Social Security – 65). It is worth noting that the average life expectancy in 1965 had risen to 70.2 years (male LE was 66.8 years). The life expectancy for men (then the majority money-earners in the workforce) still was close enough to 65 that it was figured a safe gamble from a financial perspective.
It was the assumptions of the past that made for the predicaments of the present.

What these bills never accounted for were the social changes, the ebbs and flows of American life from the late 1960s to now:
• There were downturns to the economy,
• Minorities joined the establishment workplace in substantial numbers,
• Women joined the establishment workplace in substantial numbers,
• The costs and after effects of the Vietnam War,
• Sustained periods where the US was not fully engaged in war (Afghanistan conflict ended 1989 to Afghanistan invasion begins in 2001…how’s that for irony)
• The substantial increases to available healthcare.

As societal changes pressed on the provisions of the Social Security, Unemployment, Medicaid, and Medicare the social insurances went into default. Every president since Jimmy Carter has faced the challenge of keeping the Social Security coffers full. Even in the periods of surplus that followed, we’ve never fully met that challenge.

So now the country faces the challenge of meeting the disbursement demands of the largest retiring generation since the inception of Social Security. They are healthier than any generation before, can expect to live longer than any generation before, made (and paid to Social Security) more money than any generation before, and will require larger payouts (per person and as a group) than any generation before. To make matters even more strained, we are in the throes of a financial recession the likes of which we haven’t seen since the Great Depression, we are substantially in debt as a country, and healthcare costs skyrocket at a pace few can keep up with.

So the retirees and government have only themselves to blame, right? Well not really.

So the new challenges and opportunities of a larger senior-class will be addressed before they become a problem, right? Well not really.

There will be a happy ending to this situation, right? Well that depends, on what we do from here on.

Living on Borrowed Time (Part 1 of 3)

PREFACE:
This topic is going to be offensive to some people. It presents life from a Darwinist view and portrays life as an investment and the living as resources, as opposed to the laughing and loving souls that we can be. This post will remove the romantic, the religious, and the superstitious notions about life and add in the bio-economy of politics, economics, and sociology.

BODY:
Many of us are familiar with the phrase "living on borrowed time." If you were to live on borrowed time, who would you borrow it from? My real question is who are the people who actually LIVE ON BORROWED TIME, borrowing it from?

First, let me explain what I mean by living on borrowed time. Biological and actuarial science comes up with life expectancies. The life expectancies take into account the average life-span of your parents' generation, the expected life-span of your generation, major life events (wars, plagues, and locusts), your genetic health history, your ethnic/racial health norms, and a whole lot of other factors to come up with a life expectancy.

The current life expectancy for babies born in the past year is 78.11 years. I put that last section in bold for a reason. That life expectancy figure isn't the life expectancy for the rest of us. We had different health conditions, different social conditions, different environmental conditions, and different life expectancies. To prove it, my general life expectancy (based on my country of origin, year of birth, and race) is 63.7 years. The life expectancy of males of all races was 69.6 years and for both genders, all races was 73.5 years. I personally think that since I've lived through the times of gang wars, uncontrolled AIDS, Cold War, Persian Gulf Wars I and II, and O.J. Simpson that I'll last longer than my life expectancy, but we'll see.

(If you wish to verify my information, it came from the Center for Disease Control - National Vital Statistics Report: Volume 56, Number 9. It's the most current I could find through their website)

My life expectancy is just under 14.5 years less than the all babies born this year. Say what you will, but 14.5 years is a long time, particularly when you factor that it's 14.5 years added to the end of life. That being said, if I take steps to improve my overall health, reduce the likelihood of contracting diseases that I'm genetically predisposed to, and reduce the negative health impacting habits that I currently have...it's not out of the question for me to live until I'm 78 years old. The difference is that by living that life I would be LIVING ON BORROWED TIME...14.3 years of borrowed time, to be exact.

Allow me to explain what I mean by that because it's not as simple as saying I've lived past my life expectancy. To live that long means that provisions must be made, both by me and by the greater society/government for me to continue existing that long (lodging, food, transportation, healthcare, and finances). As new generations and new life expectancies come, the world adjusts itself to accommodate for how long people will live.

According to the Social Security Administration (SSA) and the American Association for Retired Persons (AARP), the current established retirement age is 65 years old. According to the SSA, I won't be fully vested for retirement until I'm 67 years old. I don't relish 36 more years of working but c'est la vie. Ok, so we know how old qualifies for retirement but what was the life expectancy of those who are currently at or approaching retirement age? Well for those who were born 65 years ago (1944), the average life expectancy across all races and genders was...65.2 years*. There was an expectation that the average person born in 1944 would either be dead or soon to die around this time. Do you believe that to be the case?

Me neither.

* There is a variation in that figure of 65.2 years (from 68.4 years for White Women to 55.8 years for Black Men). For a number of reasons that I will not go into here, these two ethnic-gender classes consistently represent the high and low of life expectancy ranges for all ethnic-gender classes, across all known years in this country.

In fact, the survivorship rates (% of people alive per 100,000 people born) of people born in 1944 is 83%. That means while the "experts" believed the survivorship rate to be around 50% now with a rapid decline, they WAY underestimated things. Nearly 7 out of every 8 people born in 1944 are still alive and kicking. Oh, and they're not likely to pass on too soon.

Take a look at the life expectancy (LE) vs. survivorship (S) figures for people aged 70 (63.7 years LE, 76.2% S). That means that 76.2% of people born in 1939 are living on 6.3 years borrowed time and still counting. Take a look at 75 (61.1 years LE, 66.6% S) and 80 (57.1 years LE, 53.9% S). By those figures it means that 2/3 of 75 year olds are living on 13.9 years of borrowed time and just over half of 80 year olds are living on 22.9 years of borrowed time.

Now why is that? There are a number of things that account for the growing survivorship rates that we're seeing...better health quality of food/drink, better quality of environment, better medications, curing diseases that were previously terminal, new medications that prolong life in the face of terminal illness, welfare reform, etc. We have taken steps in the past 65 years, and going much further back than that, to prolong life and improve the quality of life lived. We drink less, smoke less, use protective equipment, use less manually-operated heavy machinery, work less directly with dangerous substances, and take better care of ourselves.

Yay us, right? We’re beating the system and God bless everyone who’s still with us. In the next part of this, you will come to find out why they call this time borrowed.

Beer tax on tap for health care?

You can read the article here: Beer tax on tap for health care?

Tell me, my drinking brethren...what do you think of the latest attempt at a SIN tax?

Over-Liberalizing Evolution & Other things we teach our adults

March of the Penguins commentary by Michel Martin (NPR)
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=100135891

"...Can I just tell you? What's troubling about it, if indeed a kiddie movie about penguins can be said to be troubling, is the suggestion that the penguins weren't saved from starvation and extinction because they had intrinsic worth — in other words, they weren't saved because they deserve to be saved because they happen to exist — but rather, they deserved to be saved because they were entertaining."

Here comes the intrinsic worth discussion...We don't strive by saving everyone. We don't grow by saving everyone. We grow stagnant when we save everyone. Say what you want about the world we live in...inequality, squalor, greed, corruption, poverty, disease and famine...but I would still take this over a Brave New World-esque life.

Our greats come from our worst. Our newest inventions, businesses, arts, literature, media, philosophers and athletes come from those who don't have enough access to be inundated with the stupifying/pacifying media that the rest of us subject ourselves to. We are not so fragile, so disenfranchised, so without that we cannot get ahead...we get ahead because we want to overcome those things.

To the Ladies...

Don't assume that guys won't care where you are, because we do.

If you are at the mall, at work, with your mom, or buying shoes we care...not a whole lot but we care.
If you are on your knees, on your back, on the kitchen counter with whipped cream and garters on we care...oh man, do we care.

Or...

If you are on your knees, on your back, or on the hood of some other dude's car, you better believe we care!


Also, don't talk about your ex-boyfriends.

They obviously didn't cut it, didn't treat you right, couldn't keep it up, couldn't keep it in their pants, or couldn't stay out of your underwear drawer long enough to keep you...so why talk about those losers.

If you feel the need to talk about them, the best way to approach the topic is with my dick in your mouth, then talk away...remember, no teeth.


We don't care if you talk to other guys.

Just have the decency to introduce them to us...nothing drives a man crazier than hearing about (or worse, seeing) his woman flirting with another dude that's been hidden from him.

If you feel you absolutely must ride that pony into the sunset, at least have the compassion to get his girlfriend or wife to join us. Don't hog all the fun for yourself, share! (My kindergarten teacher was a prophet!).


Also, when we tell you you're pretty / beautiful / gorgeous / cute / stunning, we freaking mean it.

Don't assume we're saying it just to appease you or because we just want to get laid. We don't always say it even though we ALWAYS want to get laid. Out of all the women on this planet we chose your pretty, beautiful, gorgeous, cute, stunning ass to be with at this moment in time, so know that we mean it.


Don't be mad when we hold the door open

If we're doing that it shows that we were raised by parents who taught us to treat people, in general, and women, in particular, with courtesy, respect, and character. That and with yall making more money, our gender role being squandered like a rich kid's trust fund and all this metrosexual crap going on these days, it's one of the few ways a real man can still be a man (thank God football and titty bars haven't been made illegal yet).


Kiss us when no one's watching.

We don't really go for the typical PDA. It, like the fancy towels, plates, throw rugs, and make-up, is more for show than anything else.
Now if you are inclined for Pubic Displays of Affection, we will be delighted to find the nearest alcove, car, movie theater, or bathroom to suit your needs. Like I already mentioned, we're not in it for the show, so let's go!


You don't have to get dressed up for us.

While we do like it when you do, we aren't staying with you for your mini-skirt, awesome hair, or the way you put 10-lbs. of makeup on so that it looks like you aren't wearing any. We know you are the finest piece of tail that God put on this Earth and, in typical guy fashion, we could care less about the wrapping paper, we want the present.


We like you for WHO you are and not WHAT you are.

We aren't with you just because you are a dancer, nurse, teacher, submissive, bi-sexual, orally-fixated, heavily-pierced, nympho (but if you are, my number of 919-555-1212)...we are with you because you are you, in all it's splendor: racing emotions, heavily detailed stories about everyday events, indecisive, wanting attention (even during the game), need to talk about our relationship, biological clock, and all.
If you fit the first set of characteristics, remember my number is 919-555-1212.


Don't take everything we say seriously.

We're joking when we say things like "Do you think your sister would be into joining us?", "Your best friend is a MILF", "Why don't we ask her to come back to our hotel?", and "This is why my last gf/wife got that restraining order."...unless you're into that sort of thing. Hey, we're just trying to make light of the situation and really, if you wanted sensitive, compassionate, empathic dialogue you'd be dating your girlfriends (just let us bring the camera...see, just kidding...unless you're into that sort of thing).


Stop using magazines/media as your bible.

If these people already knew "10 Secrets to Please Your Man", "How to Lose 20 lbs. in 2 weeks", "Making the Most Fulfilled You", and "Explosive Nights with Black Lights", they'd already be pole dancing at Catch Her In The Rear. The people who write those articles spend as much time as you do trying to figure those things out when the answer is right in front of them...

Be Yourself
Love Yourself
Love Others
Don't Others Impressions of You Determine Your Impression of Yourself
and
What's Behind You and Facing You is Not as Important as What's In You!

You know we love you, so let us in you. We'd like to be more important than a 100-page glossy tabloid.


IF YOU AREN'T BEING TREATED RIGHT BY A GUY, DON'T WAIT FOR HIM TO CHANGE. DITCH HIS SORRY, DISCRACE-TO-THE-MALE-POPULATION ASS, AND FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL TREAT YOU WITH UTTER RESPECT

We know, we know, we know that you want a bad boy.
We know, we know, we know that you want a thug.
We know, we know, we know that you want a player.

We also know that you want someone who will treat you right, take care of you, and do right by you. On behalf of all men, I want to let you women know one thing...every man has bad boy, thug, and player in them. The ones you go after don't have much else in them. Find a good man who genuinely cares about you, your well-being, your feelings, and your needs and nurture the bad boy, thug, and player out of him. Hell, if you can get a guy to wash his ass, pick up his clothes, and take out the trash...bring out a good man's inner bad boy is a cinch! Then you get the best of both worlds.

A Letter to BBWs

Ladies,

As a man who appreciates BBW's I would like to send this out to you. This is on behalf of myself but I'd be willing to bet other BBW lovers can/will echo my sentiments.

The phrase Big, Beautiful Woman was written that way to describe you for a reason because you are Big AND Beautiful...not big despite being beautiful, not beautiful because you are big...that don't work. Not all beautiful women are big and not all big women are beautiful. For those of you who are, thank you for being that.

So, now that I've identified who I'm talking about I would like to make some statements to you...

1. When you've got a man who will go down on you, help him out. If I've got to focus on keeping (let's just call it skin) out the way of your pussy, I'm not fully focused on getting you hot. That's a damn shame for both of us. So help a brotha out by lifting it up so I can get down while I'm going down.

2. You sweat. I'll say it again, you sweat. I sweat. We all sweat. You and I just happen to do it more when we have sex because (if we're doing it right) it's hot stuff. Don't use the fear of sweating as an excuse not to get into it. I'm more put off by a woman who ain't getting into the sex than a woman who sweats alot.

3. KY is not your enemy. Your big and beautiful self has more (let's just call it skin) around your pussy than other women. Because of this, while your pussy may be sopping wet, that don't necessarily translate to the outside. This creates some friction problems that ain't all good (particularly with a condom on). So if I, or any other man, pulls out some lube don't get pissed. We're just trying to make it right for us to do the damned thing.

4. Even if you ain't exercising regularly...stretch. Stretch early and stretch often. Ain't nothing good when I'm with you and you can't do no other position than doggystyle because your legs won't stretch no other way. I like to change it up a bit but you got to work with me.

That's all I have to say. Continue to be your big and beautiful self and I'll keep loving you. If you do (or are already doing) the things I mention here...hit me up.

IF A MAN WANTS YOU

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better, but don't expect him to wait forever.

Never live your life for a man.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then hell no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.

He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant. Why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

If something bothers you, speak up!

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or he's in a better job.

Do not make him into a Quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more ..... nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man.

If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.

You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to complete you...a relationship consists of two whole individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary..

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always knows where you are and you're always readily available to him, he'll takes it for granted.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you what you need.

Keep him in your radar, but get to know others.

Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.

BY THE WAY, THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A MAN, SO TAKE A HINT

IF A WOMAN WANTS YOU...

If a woman wants you, nothing can keep her away (not threats, not police, not even a court order)

If she doesn't want you, nothing can make her stay (not threats, not guilt, not even violence)

Stop making excuses for a woman and her behavior. Even when hormonal she is just as accountable for her actions as you are for yours.

Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be. Some women can help you grow, some can help you heal, but if you are the only one being made to change you are neither growing nor healing, you are being molded.

Slower is better, but don't expect her to wait forever.

If a relationship ends because the woman took you for granted or treated you like shit, then hell no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle. If you aren't getting what you want now, you're not going to get it later.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid women who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different men.She didn't learn from any of the previous experience, why would she wise up now? Support and provide for another man's kids and guess what, you still won't be their father. You could be tied in her pen of men with all the other baby daddies…doesn't that sound like fun?

Always have your own set of friends separate from hers.

Maintain boundaries in how a woman treats you. You are not a child or a dog or some lesser being.

If something bothers you, speak up!

Never share everything with a woman, she will use it against you later. Still, don't lie, that she will use that against you forever.

You cannot change a woman's behavior. Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make her feel she is more important than you are...even if she has more education or he's in a better job. Do not make her into a Quasi-god. She is a woman, nothing more...nothing less.

Never let a woman define who you are or tell you what you should be.

Never borrow someone else's woman.

If she cheated with you, she'll cheat on you.

If she cheats it's not the other man's fault, it's yours (hers and yours). You tried to keep her when she didn't want to stay (women will always give you signs before then, if you'll just listen). She wasn't forthright enough to end it before going on to another man.

If you cheat, it's the same scenario. Your woman may not see it that way, but it is.

A woman will only treat you the way you allow her to treat you.

Foreplay is not dirty. Sex is not dirty. Kink is not dirty. Fetish is not dirty. Nothing is dirty if you share it in love.

All men are NOT dogs. It's not something you owe your DNA to act like one.

You need time to heal between relationships. Baggage is both sad and damaging. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to complete you...a relationship consists of two whole individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if she doesn't turn out to be Ms. Right. Still, don't confuse Ms. Right-Now for Ms. Right.

Make her miss you sometimes. When a woman always knows where you are and you're always readily available to her, she'll take it for granted.

Don't fully commit to a woman who doesn't give you what you need.Keep her in your radar, but get to know others.

Don't let any woman cut you off from all others, that's a trap.

Share this with other dudes..... You'll make someone smile, another rethink his choices, and another man prepare.

BY THE WAY, THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A HAPPILY MARRIED MAN, SO TAKE A HINT.