1. Taking your clothes off, or stripping, is one of the sexiest things you do. Please don't rush through it as though it were nothing. If we're in that much of a hurry, we'll claw your clothes off of you.
2. Hanging out with the fellas helps to recharge my batteries, detox my life and is necessary to keep me sane.
3. Sports are not an obsession. They are a connection to my youthful, most energetic, and probably most happy times in my life.
4. Running errands is not a problem and I'll do my best with the details. If you want the Diet, Decaf, Mocha, Whole-Wheat, Low-Sodium, Low-Fat, Antioxidant, Organic, Gluten-Free, Ribbed for Her Pleasure, No Split-Ends, Flexi-Waist thingamabob that comes in the 16 oz. Sky Blue bottle with the Salon Pump, go get it yourself.
5. When I ask you "How was your day?", I’m not inviting you to tell me about everyone else's day, yesterday, tomorrow, and life history on the way to telling us about you...I can't process that much information at once.
6. When you ask me "How was your day?" and I say "It was OK", leave it at that.
7. Don't EVER go through my personal things (wallet, phone, email, voicemail, car) trying to find out what I've been doing or to catch me in a lie. Actions like that are quick to remind us of a nosy parent (usually mother) and it is one of the most unattractive things you can do.
8. Have more confidence in why we're together. I know you like hearing that you're attractive, sexy, smart, powerful...but if you ‘force’ me say it too many times, it becomes a lie.
9. You ALWAYS look better in a skirt.
10. I love it when you hang out with your girlfriends, please do it more often.
11. Don't dress lights-out sexy when you go out with your girlfriends if you won't dress that way for me...it shows that your priorities have gone somewhere else.
12. Feel free to dress lights-out sexy on almost every occasion when we're together...it is definitely appreciated.
13. All the things we used to do for fun before we got together (going to the bar, catching a game, fishing, video games, carpentry, etc.) are still fun. If you don't really like them anymore, find something else to do while I do them... See #10.
14. I don't want to go to Pottery Barn, Bed Bath & Beyond, the jewelry store, the beauty salon, the nail salon, or to see the Sex In The City movie...pretty much EVER.
15. I’m not your ex-boyfriend and the fact that we look alike, talk alike, sound alike, dress alike, drive a similar car, and/or socialize in similar circles STILL doesn’t make me him. If you’re not over him, get over him because I’m never going to be him.
16. Seeing you wearing one of my button-down shirts with a pair of heels on and nothing else is one of the sexiest things.
17. I am attracted to all the things you did to hook me when we first started dating. I would greatly appreciate it if you would continue those things.
18. Baggy clothes are fine for nights curled up on the couch, but they should not be a regular staple of your wardrobe...you've got a beautiful body in there (no matter how you feel), don't hide it.
19. Please close the bathroom door when you’re on the toilet…that’s never something I want to see.
20. I own 5 pairs of pants, 10 pairs of jeans, 10 pairs of shorts, 10 button down shirts, 45 t-shirts, and 5 pairs of shoes…please don’t ask me to critique whether this blouse goes with this skirt, shoes, earrings, lipstick, eyeliner, stockings, purse, and jacket…see #10.
Married Men to their Wives
21. If I'm not giving you enough sex, it's because:
- A) I'm temporarily not attracted to you
- B) I'm pissed at you, resulting in A
- C) You have made dramatic changes to something I liked, resulting in A
- D) My life is out of control and I don’t feel that I’m getting any support or help from you
23. Before you get it into your head to swap the greasy, fatty, starchy, salty, sugary food that I love for something low-fat, low-sodium, whole wheat, or organic STOP. I love that food the way I love you, just the way it is. You can suggest to me a change, but do not attempt to force it. See #21.
24. I sometimes look at my wedding band and ask myself, “How did I get myself into this?”
25. About 30 seconds later I’m thinking about you and smiling to myself.
26. Nakedness is like Ice Cream...when it is a once-in-a-while treat it is delicious and wonderful, when it is all the time with no occasion or fanfare, it loses its flavor.
27. The words “I’m ovulating” are absolutely the least sexy words that can come out of your mouth. I spent years dating and celebrating that my woman was not pregnant. Even if we’re trying to make a baby, keep the timing and details of that occasion to yourself.
28. If you feel as though you must change some aspect of yourself (hair, wardrobe, diet, job, piercings, tattoos) please bring it up to me and let me know that it’s important to you. I may not like it, but I can take it a whole lot better than if you surprise me with it.
29. Your memory is way too good to be selective. If you can remember what grocery store has a sale on corn, what song was playing when we first kissed, the birthdays of your family, my family and all of your girlfriends then I know you can remember to pull your hair out of the tub drain, don’t use my razors to shave your legs, and take the car to the mechanic.
30. I am imperfect, you correct my imperfections…that makes you perfect to me.
